Kenpachi Masamune

This is not poetry. This is just part of your diary. Even while this is not poetry, I can comment on your form. Lack of capitalization for I and new ...

Cabassi is right in line with me on this one. You crossed into characters and thus need their emotions, it is becoming more and more like fiction in that aspect, ...

The whole battle scene was well...not exactly good. Though your use of Phyrexia was funny, but Magic the Gathering holds much to be desired in terms of fighting alone. Even ...

I'm not exactly sure what separates this from dramatic poetry, but whatever. The work seems to be one of lost love, not unrequited, but more like immature love. It is ...

Some parts don't make too clear of sense, The gutter shot and grave part just seems like some drunken rambling. The shoulders and coffin part as well. And the day ...

Author's Note: This is a fun little submission I did for the 7 deadly sins contest. In lieu of all the serious submissions that will probably come in, I did ...

Penguinattack got the corrections. This poem hits home and so does the simple message which all of us can relate to. It is nicely done, rather then going into details ...

A bit too unstructured, it went for the 'deep' approach, but came off a little sidetracked and too long to keep the initial awe when you break the form and ...

Complex and beautiful. Some of the metaphors need a bit of touching up. 'Waterfall of blushing cheeks' being one. The whole 'in and out' thing after Popsicle fingers doesn't seem ...

I must disagree with Niteowl on this one. A poem is not a short story and doesn't have to tell about someone and why. Lament alone is the subject, you ...

A moral message yes, but this seems to be prose rather then poetry. Using a quote is also in support of the prose judgment for me as well. Just because ...

I would lose the seagull descriptions and maybe use a reference to their annoying 'MINE' calls. Though that's just me. The first part of the poem is plain and simple, ...

I'm going to have to go with the previous two posters on here, but add my own segment in. Word Choice. One of the cornerstones of poetry is using the ...

This was good, some things about the whole soul and weird method of judgment makes Esten seem like a new trainee at the DMV, knowing too much about the procedures, ...

Wow this is good, some of the references made like 'dung-beetle' didn't go too well after typical ones like 'vultures'. I think it was 'little fly' that actually made me ...